23
November 11th, 2024
Today is my last day, being 23. What did I do, you might ask? I spent the day watching Friends, drinking a sugary latte, and wearing a cheetah print jacket. I can easily say that this year was one of the most interesting years I have yet to experience.
From an outside perspective, this year looked amazing. I got to travel Europe for 3 months, checking 11 counties off my bucket list with some of my favorite people. I visited my best friends around the country and enjoyed numerous days in the sunshine - escaping Michigan winter. I lived at the airport, drank more good coffees than I could count, and still got to relax in the comforts of my home after a while apart.
Luckily, social media is a highlight reel, and you missed the nights I spent crying, asking God for direction. You didn’t see the tears shed on airplanes, sitting next to strangers who didn’t even know my name. You didn’t read the journal pages filled with smudged writing and fears I have yet to mutter out loud. The nights I spent alone, wishing someone was with me, remain hidden, and the conversations I had with the Lord will remain unheard.
I think that’s why this year was so difficult for me. I was doing everything I dreamed of. I was surrounded by people I loved, and yet, for some reason, I was still tossing and turning in nonexistent waves.
It’s important for me to remain vulnerable with you on here. I want nothing more than to create a safe community where you feel seen and understood. I struggled for the majority of this year, and of course, with social media being a highlight reel, you couldn’t tell. It was hard for me to share my struggles - especially when I didn’t really know how to articulate them myself. Sometimes I think we find it easier to bottle everything up - when in reality there’s comfort in sharing and letting someone hear you.
This year was stretching, but I know it was necessary for the years to come.
The beginning of the year started off so strong. I had an idea or expectation of how the rest of the year would follow. Long story short, I didn’t get my way. Halfway through the year, I fought and fought with the Lord. I wanted MY way. I wanted to live where I wanted, be with who I wanted, and do things how I wanted. I knew the Lord wanted me to stay put at home, but I fought anyway. I spent a lot of this year doing that. It was a repetitive cycle of me fighting with the Lord on where He had me, realizing it, becoming at peace with my position, and then going back to wanting my way.
It wasn’t until a couple of months ago that I fully surrendered my position to the Lord and found peace in where He had me.
I also spent a lot of this year fighting insecurity. As a girl who’s never been someone’s first choice or had a serious boyfriend, it began to take a toll on me. Every single one of my friends is in a relationship right now - ALL of them. I’m the only single friend out of my close friends. I spent most of the year trying to find ways to change myself. I was fighting with myself to change, become more desirable, and figure out “what’s wrong with me.”
I’ve never really been one to cry in front of my friends until this year either. (well, we’re still working on that). I realized this year that vulnerability in friendships is so important. While being in this fun little single season, I found the importance of good friends and a good community. We were not meant to live this life alone.
On the contrary, I also found confidence in doing things alone and peace in resting by myself. I learned how to have fun alone - taking myself on mini dates, spending nights alone and traveling by myself. I found joy in my independence.
So in light of turning 24, here are 23 things I learned at 23:
Never do things for people with the intent that they’ll reciprocate. Just do things out of love.
Find comfort in the uncomfortable.
Tomatoes are actually really good.
Saturday nights in are more fun.
It’s okay to cry in front of people.
Talk to the person next to you on the plane, they might have great movie taste.
ALWAYS look out the window!
Confrontation isn’t a bad thing, it doesn’t hurt to stand up for yourself once in a while.
Every no is just making space for an amazing yes.
God’s way will always be better than your way.
Time with family is precious, but it’s also important to take time for yourself too.
No one is ever perfect on their first try. You have to start somewhere.
Once you start noticing the little things, you’ll never stop.
Consistency unfortunately is key.
Start doing things that you once loved as a child.
Lip liner is important and sparkly eyeshadow is a necessity.
Take action in faith. Seize! Don’t be passive about what God has promised.
Draw and dance and write even if you’re not good at it - just CREATE!
Watch every sunset. Try and count the stars.
The best place to be is where your feet are.
Don’t be embarrassed about your passions.
Hugs are important.
Don’t spend your time wishing you were someone else.
My end of year video for 2024 in case you missed it <3
Going into this next year, I think about season one of Friends (of course we need a Friend’s reference). Rachel Green was 24 in the first season of Friends. This was only the beginning for her. She went on to have eight more seasons and honestly had some of the best character growth. I think of how confused, scared, and lonely she was in season one. She thought her life was over and that she missed her chance. That might be how some of us, including myself, are feeling right now.
Rachel goes on for eight more seasons. Meets the love of her life, gets the job of her dreams, lives with her best friends, and becomes a mother. She gains self-confidence, purpose, and stability. I don’t know if this is more of a message for myself, but this is only the beginning. We have so many more seasons to go! There’s still so much more time to grow and learn, and dance and love. Your 20s are for figuring yourself out and having fun while doing it.
Life is such a gift. There is no such thing as a wasted year - let alone a wasted day.
I feel like this was all over the place. I’ve been trying to reflect on this year and articulate my thoughts properly, but I guess there’s never a perfect time or a perfect way. You just gotta start typing and hope it ends well! This year was also two years of the blog!!!! Thank you for not only sticking around for 2 years of this little blog but 2 years of allowing me to pursue and chase after my dreams. I couldn’t do it without you and your support. You allow me to try new things without fear of failure. You allow me to be myself without fear of judgment. You guys are my besties. My favorite corner of the internet.
24 is about to be a movie. Thanks for sticking around for the journey.
i love you, talk so soon!
xoxo, Mere
