Don’t miss what God is saying to you.

I finished my journal. Cover to cover. Two years worth of words from my head.

Filled with my thoughts, my dreams, my insecurities, my bad days, and my good days.

One night while I was in California I sat and read my journal from start to finish.

It was extremely eye-opening for me.

I felt that I needed to share my first page versus the last page in my journal because WOW!

The first page I wrote in that journal in 2021 was this:

( In case you were wondering I think I made it maybe 13 days into the devotional… )

This was the last page of my journal that I wrote March 11th 2023:

I feel really vulnerable showing you my actual unedited, journal pages that probably have a million spelling and grammatical errors. But even if those pages can give ONE person a small amount of hope I feel okay putting myself out there. This is unedited Mere! There is no room for fear here. Although, I fear that you may not be able to read my handwriting… Oh well. Maybe that’s for the best.

BUT. Here’s the main point I’m trying to get across today.

The difference between my first page and my last is insane. If only younger Mere could read what she’s writing now.

While rereading I realized I was consistently missing the point the entire time. I was searching for something more. Something that would fulfill and satisfy me for longer than a couple of days. I was always drained. Nothing made me happy. I didn’t recognize myself. 

As I read page by page, I realized it was right in front of me the whole time. He was in front of me the whole time. In each entry, the Lord was clearly speaking to me, but I was missing it. 

I was too busy looking to the left and to the right. 

Too busy focusing on the negative.

Too busy focusing on the world instead of the One who created it.

He was right there. Trying to get my attention. Jumping up and down waving His arms shouting “Meredith! Just look at me!!! My daughter!!”

I realized what I was missing when I took my eyes off the temporary and placed my full attention on Him. THAT’S when I fully found peace and clarity.

Reading my journal from start to finish hits a special part of my heart. My heart hurts for the old version of me who was constantly searching for deeper love but rejoices because I finally found it. I’m proud of my growth. I’m proud I didn’t give up halfway through. I’m proud I actually finished a journal from cover to cover.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m still learning. I’m sure in another two years I’ll reread my new journal and think, man I was REALLY missing the point here AGAIN!

With this all being said, maybe you feel like I used to right now. Maybe you’re searching for something more too. Go reread your journal entries (or if you don’t have one, start one!) and let the Lord reveal what He’s been so desperately trying to communicate with you this whole time. He’s waiting.

I’m going to go reread mine AGAIN because I’m sure I missed something.

I also am going to go get a new journal…

It’s been a couple of weeks without one and I’m being overly picky.

But!

Not the point!

The point is! Regardless if you’re writing in a journal or not, the Lord speaks in many different ways- Don’t miss what God is trying to say to you because you’re too busy looking at the world. Find out what God’s voice sounds like. Don’t wait until it’s too late to realize you’ve been missing Him this entire time. He’s so eager to hear from you.

His arms are open! He is waiting!

He wants to hear from you as much as you want to hear from Him.

So what are you waiting for???